I have to admit up front, I never read the book, Catch-22, but your situation and that of others with mental health issues seem to fit the criteria succinctly. Many, myself included, must wear a mask of good humor and confidence when out in the "real" world, then come home to crash and selfcare ourselves to get ready for the next day, that is, if we can make it out the door. I do support Substack.com and I hope they provide their contributing writers with some financial support. If I was in better financial shape, I'm a widow with a meager pension and supporting my Autistic/ADHD adult son, I would happily do more. I hope this current phase in your mental health episode will soon pass and not leave you too bruised and exhausted. Take care.
Thanks for your words, Sue, and thanks especially for your generosity. You're an inspiration, because right now I just can't put on the happy face and get out the door. To know you're hanging in there, and I hope taking some joy in your very special son, is the inspiration I'll draw on to make it through today.
Wearing the mask, crashing, staying awake until dawn, then barely making it out the door the next day... is most days, is my "normal." I always think I'm the only one -- because that confidence and good humor that i see on others, does seem so convincing. And I feel so inferior by comparison... every damned day.
Oh, George. I have been waiting and wondering if you were going to post, again -- hoping that I had not heard from you lately because you were busy and doing well. I am so sorry to hear this. You have worked so hard at synthesizing your practical needs vs your need to express yourself about your mental illness. I think many of us, these days, are trying to prioritize our mental health while also trying to "go along to get along" -- and for me it has deeply affected the kind of person whom I though I was. I feel beaten down. I may be unintentionally getting off topic, here, as I often do. There seems to be a cold war going on right now, between people who cannot 100% fend for themselves (depend on social security and medicare), and those who can (get company benefits), to some extent. Somewhere in there, our society has to find compassion -- WE have to find compassion. I think youre staring to find it, and I am grateful to hear it. I always liked you and cared about you, even while I found some of your writings hurtful. I pray that you and your family -- and me, and ALL of us -- will somehow be ok, and support each other as best we can, when the government or the private employers will not do so. Please dont yell at me, that i've missed the point of your essay -- many of us are living in fear and pain right now, and i am reaching out to make a connection because your words touch me- that is all.
Thank you Janet. When you say fear and pain I think you've nailed it. I'm struck by how much bipolar disorder can amplify what for many is a dark time. I remember when mania was sort of happy. Hang in there. Somehow we will be OK. You said it. I'll hold you to it.
I remember when it was sort of happy, too. Mostly what i feel all the time, is alone. And when I am out, amongst others, I know that if I dared to even say one true thing that was on my mind, they would walk away. The alternative to going out, is to stare at endless things on the internet, and streaming TV. Meanwhile all of that is addictive, and in addition i’m so addicted to GPS that i cant find my own way around the block, anymore. That also terrifies me.
I have to admit up front, I never read the book, Catch-22, but your situation and that of others with mental health issues seem to fit the criteria succinctly. Many, myself included, must wear a mask of good humor and confidence when out in the "real" world, then come home to crash and selfcare ourselves to get ready for the next day, that is, if we can make it out the door. I do support Substack.com and I hope they provide their contributing writers with some financial support. If I was in better financial shape, I'm a widow with a meager pension and supporting my Autistic/ADHD adult son, I would happily do more. I hope this current phase in your mental health episode will soon pass and not leave you too bruised and exhausted. Take care.
Thanks for your words, Sue, and thanks especially for your generosity. You're an inspiration, because right now I just can't put on the happy face and get out the door. To know you're hanging in there, and I hope taking some joy in your very special son, is the inspiration I'll draw on to make it through today.
Wearing the mask, crashing, staying awake until dawn, then barely making it out the door the next day... is most days, is my "normal." I always think I'm the only one -- because that confidence and good humor that i see on others, does seem so convincing. And I feel so inferior by comparison... every damned day.
We are holding you close, George. I don’t know if there is any light or comfort from that, but know it is true. We are heat for and with you.
*here
Thanks Val, It helps so much to know you guys are out there. Love to all.
Oh, George. I have been waiting and wondering if you were going to post, again -- hoping that I had not heard from you lately because you were busy and doing well. I am so sorry to hear this. You have worked so hard at synthesizing your practical needs vs your need to express yourself about your mental illness. I think many of us, these days, are trying to prioritize our mental health while also trying to "go along to get along" -- and for me it has deeply affected the kind of person whom I though I was. I feel beaten down. I may be unintentionally getting off topic, here, as I often do. There seems to be a cold war going on right now, between people who cannot 100% fend for themselves (depend on social security and medicare), and those who can (get company benefits), to some extent. Somewhere in there, our society has to find compassion -- WE have to find compassion. I think youre staring to find it, and I am grateful to hear it. I always liked you and cared about you, even while I found some of your writings hurtful. I pray that you and your family -- and me, and ALL of us -- will somehow be ok, and support each other as best we can, when the government or the private employers will not do so. Please dont yell at me, that i've missed the point of your essay -- many of us are living in fear and pain right now, and i am reaching out to make a connection because your words touch me- that is all.
Thank you Janet. When you say fear and pain I think you've nailed it. I'm struck by how much bipolar disorder can amplify what for many is a dark time. I remember when mania was sort of happy. Hang in there. Somehow we will be OK. You said it. I'll hold you to it.
I remember when it was sort of happy, too. Mostly what i feel all the time, is alone. And when I am out, amongst others, I know that if I dared to even say one true thing that was on my mind, they would walk away. The alternative to going out, is to stare at endless things on the internet, and streaming TV. Meanwhile all of that is addictive, and in addition i’m so addicted to GPS that i cant find my own way around the block, anymore. That also terrifies me.