Not enough people write about bipolar rage. It's all-consuming and inexplicable, and I deal with mine in similar ways (leaving the room mostly) to avoid lashing out and losing my job or loved ones. There's no explanation behind it and no problem to be solved- it's just there, like a vicious monster you're doing everything to cage. I hope meditation works out for you as it has in the past. Thanks for writing this and best of luck getting through the storm without shattering your life against the rocks.
Thanks Amelia, You’re right, people rarely speak or write about the rage but it can be so much a part of every episode, and so irrevocably damaging. Life certainly is up against the rocks right now, but hopefully the tide pulls back and gives me some space and respite to recover. Be well.
Bipolar 1 here -- it is such a tough disease for me as well, because I often just don't have control of my own mind and behavior, even though I think I do. Looking at my behavior in the rear view mirror is often so embarrassing and disappointing. My anger typically spikes when a manic episode is collapsing and turning into a psychotic break (followed by the inevitable depression, ugh) but luckily for me these anger incidents are not very common. Wishing you better health on this mental health journey
Thanks. Your rear view mirror analogy is dead on. I spend so much time looking back on what I've done or trying to figure out what has happened that I can miss what's right in front of me... life. Be well.
Not enough people write about bipolar rage. It's all-consuming and inexplicable, and I deal with mine in similar ways (leaving the room mostly) to avoid lashing out and losing my job or loved ones. There's no explanation behind it and no problem to be solved- it's just there, like a vicious monster you're doing everything to cage. I hope meditation works out for you as it has in the past. Thanks for writing this and best of luck getting through the storm without shattering your life against the rocks.
Thanks Amelia, You’re right, people rarely speak or write about the rage but it can be so much a part of every episode, and so irrevocably damaging. Life certainly is up against the rocks right now, but hopefully the tide pulls back and gives me some space and respite to recover. Be well.
Bipolar 1 here -- it is such a tough disease for me as well, because I often just don't have control of my own mind and behavior, even though I think I do. Looking at my behavior in the rear view mirror is often so embarrassing and disappointing. My anger typically spikes when a manic episode is collapsing and turning into a psychotic break (followed by the inevitable depression, ugh) but luckily for me these anger incidents are not very common. Wishing you better health on this mental health journey
Thanks. Your rear view mirror analogy is dead on. I spend so much time looking back on what I've done or trying to figure out what has happened that I can miss what's right in front of me... life. Be well.